Wednesday, 29 December 2010

The End??

I honestly cannot believe this year is coming to an end. I remember New Years last year perfectly, for reasons I wish were still around this year.
So many crazy things have happened this year that I cannot believe it all fit into 2010.

Traveled to 4 countries, stopped over in 3 others.
Got my heart broken and mended again.
Not dyed my hair the entire year.
Figured out my university degree.
Got to know myself better.
Met so many people.
Got chosen to direct a play.
Had an incredible summer.
Got to live on my own for awhile.
Been to two amazing music festivals.
Got involved more involved in life.
Learnt how important it is to know how to forgive people, despite how hard it is.

Here's to a 2011 that is jam packed to the brim with crazy beautiful experiences and lots of growth. xo

Tuesday, 28 December 2010


This Month I...

...had a party at my apartment.
...met tons of new people.
...met up with old friends.
...went to visit a friend out of town.
...modeled in a photo-shoot.
...had really good body confidence afterwards.
...felt the Christmas cheer.
...picked up guitar again.


Saturday, 25 December 2010


Beautiful gift drawn by Chris

I was never a big fan of Christmas because having divorced parents makes holidays really hard, and you have to make everyone happy but they aren't willing to compromise so much with the other person. Luckily this year, I pulled out as much Christmas cheer or whatever as I could and managed to have a nice Christmas. Spent the night of the 25th with an amazing person and their family, I am so thankful for that. I wonder what Christmas will be like when I'm older and probably married. Will I be a harping perfectionist trying to capture the Christmas that I never had? Will I even be celebrating Christmas? All I know is that despite the commercial aspect of Christmas, there is the food and the family and just being together and thoughtful to each other and it's something people forget about sometimes during the rest of the year.
I hope you had lovely holidays, whatever you celebrated, I hope they were with friends and family and lots of good food.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Wanderer Above the Fog

One of my favourite romantic paintings.
Caspar David Friedrich

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Of course

I hate not updating you dear blog, I always come up with entries in my head but never sit down to create them, as with so many things in life. But of course, procrastinating for my one exam is just what I need to find any reason to avoid studying. Whoever decided to put an exam on the 21st of December, must be a big scroogy grinch, but then again, so am I.

Despite my dislike of xmas, Life is pretty good lately, I'm surrounded by new and amazing people and it's exactly what I needed now. I feel like I'm actually living that University lifestyle people talk about, search for, crazy but not too crazy, sounds good to me.

Went to visit a friend out of town for a few days and it helped me realize that you need to take things as they come. You honestly can't sit around with a rock in your stomach waiting and wanting and hoping. You have to go out and do it and laugh and enjoy it and then laugh about it again the next day because life doesn't have to be stressful or complicated.

I met someone who is going through similar family issues as I am, and it made me feel less alone in that sense. I can't just bring it up in normal conversation, people feel uncomfortable and don't know what to tell you if you bring up said issues at a party or dinner.  Everyone has some kind of problem going on, whether it is an obvious one or not and there's a time and place to talk about them because people don't know what to do when they realize other people are hurting. I learnt that the hard way. Somehow she was able to just tell me and I just accepted it, I didn't judge or run away or make fun. Now if only other people would be so nice as to do that to me. Find that friend to whom you can share your fears with and hold on to them. People don't always know how to handle things they're not used to feeling.

When I'm avoiding school work, I do some pretty impressive things but right now I just feel like cleaning. I really need to go over my notes and study but I just don't feel like it, it's too dark outside and there's too much noise. My mother is here until next month at least, and she's discovered Skype. It makes me miss living alone, but this morning she made brunch and it was delicious and we talked like two people should, and not too teen angsty jerry springered mother and daughter death metal flying dishes duo. It was good. Let's see how long that lasts...

I should open my textbooks, but first I'll do the dishes.
Bisous x

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Not that I Care...

..but this is kind of interesting.
However, if they ever made one of me, I think they'd be somewhat disappointed. Sometimes I feel like the only changes I really go through over time are internal. x

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Friday, 3 December 2010

Drowning Art.

Can we all just take a moment to look at this?

"Artist Jason de Caires Taylor creates life-size cement sculptures of people and submerges them into the waters of South America. As time passes the sculptures become part of the underwater landscape and slowly become artificial reefs ripe with marine life."
Honestly, this is incredibly beautiful and it makes me feel like I'm dreaming. Things like this keep my head in the clouds and make me think differently about the human race I suppose. It's something I wish I could be a part of and despite all the snow, I want to dive into the nearest installation and swim around...Art like this makes you feel something...


It makes me think of a combination between Pompeii and Atlantis...

Wednesday, 1 December 2010


Last night, I went to visit BG at his art college then we headed out to Hooters with a bunch of people for All You Can Eat Wings!
They competed against each other and he won by one more, with 43 Chicken Wings consumed. What a champ...

I don't know how many I ate last night, but definitely more than 25 wings. I have to say though, despite Hooters supposedly being famous for their AYCEWings, their flavours were a little sub-par.
My favourites were the Honey Garlic wings, in second comes the BBQ flavour, which I found a little too 'ketchup-y'. I was excited to try the Cajun ones but they just tasted like oversalted Oregano Shake and Bake. However, the Lemon Pepper ones were delicious, but when we ordered them the second time, they were so incredibly sour that we couldn't eat them. Alex's face in the photo below expresses the sourness...
I only just got into Chicken Wings a week earlier with some people from the play I had worked on. I used to be grossed out by touching the bones, but now I can't get enough! My next food fear challenge will probably be some kind of seafood...

I never thought I'd someday be reviewing Hooters Chicken Wings on my blog...

End of Movember.

 Happy Movember!

Saturday, 27 November 2010


I went over to my friend Alex BG's house and we made Scones!

SCONES from Alex BG on Vimeo.

First we ate Roti, then we baked, then we watched the Hockey Game, then I fell asleep, then we watched SNL...

Having guy friends is really really great, you should try it. xx

Friday, 26 November 2010

Finally finished these two bloody essays, I'm incredibly unpleased with them but they will have to do, it's my fault for not starting them as soon as I knew about them. Next one is due by December but for now, I'm going to leave the library as fast as I bloody well can...........can't wait for tonight. x

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Essay Hatred

As much as it is QUITE LITERALLY killing me to admit this to myself...these essays are NOT going to get done in two hours.

You don't understand...I"m NEVER late on schoolwork! Never!

So here is the plan:
Get Dressed.
Feed the Cat.
Make yourself comfortable...
...and don't stop working on them until tomorrow morning...basically.

Here's hoping... x

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Worldly Tuesday

Life is crazy...crazy good.

I stage managed a play this weekend and I realized how much I miss working in theater/shows. I had the opportunity to fully orchestrate lights, sound and cues. Everyone there was amazing and hopefully it'll open doors for more opportunities to work there, plus I met some really incredible people I can't wait to see again.

Now I'm taking care of essays and meeting so many new people, it makes me so happy. I spent a good hour cleaning my apartment and am super excited to have people over soon. Time has flown by so fast!! My mother will return from her travels in just a few weeks! Here are some photos she sent me...can you guess where in the world she is now??

Sometimes I wonder if I take Toronto for granted. In class today, there was a guy visiting from the British Virgin Islands considering coming to my Uni and he told me he's really overwhelmed because there are more people here than on his entire island! I guess once you live here, you don't realize how overwhelming and big it can be. Though it's funny because both times I've been to New York, I've felt overwhelmed and like a 'fish out of water', but it's probably very similar to Toronto once you've lived there for awhile. But I do feel like I take advantage of my city, going to it's events, concerts, shows, festivals...trying out the food, discovering new places...but for some reason I don't quite picture myself living here in the future...Was ist die Zukunft?

Happy Essay Writing xx

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Monday Better Watch Out...

...because I'm not taking anymore crap.

Friday, 12 November 2010


When I was working in the V.I.P. tent at Cirque du Soleil, the dessert for the guests were Macaroons on sticks, resembling pretty flowers. At the end of each night, the leftovers or any broken ones would come to our tent, and I must have eaten hundreds of these luscious things...not knowing how incredibly expensive they are!

Well now I want more and I don't know where to find them! When I was in France they were selling them at ridiculous prices, but they were honestly the most beautiful little things I'd ever seen. Maybe I too will attempt to make some...
 photo from this amazing blog here.
I just wanted to apologize on falling behind with my November blog project.
Life has gotten a little hectic, with exams, personal issues and stage managing a play, but I promise I will get them done and put them on the right dates.


Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Oh dear...

Life has gotten strange again.

Day 10: Who do I miss the most?

i miss you

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Day 7: Dear Uncle Sebastian...

Dear Uncle Sebastian,
I miss you.

When you passed away, people hid it from me for a week, but I knew something was wrong.

You were the reason I would go to Sicily, and now it's not the same without you.

I wish I wrote you more, I wish I called you more, I wish I sent you more of my artwork that you liked to see.

Did you know this photo of you won me awards? I even sold a copy.

When I was little, I always thought you were a gentle gorilla. You were always so calm and wise. You knew what was going on without having to say a word. But the final word was yours, always.

Sicilian tradition, Sicilian respect.

Your voice was very gentle, and when I asked you how you how you courted my Aunt Maria, you laughed and said you went to her house everyday until she said yes.

I miss our laughing about how she would always yell about the remote being on the table...

You were lucky in the war, but not so lucky as a parent.

I wished we'd lived closer so I could come hear your stories more often.

My favourite uncle.

I love you so much.


Saturday, 6 November 2010

Day 6: Dear Stranger...

Hey Stranger!

I love your shoes.
Do you want to dance?
It's so incredibly amazingly nice to meet you!
Is that the new season of QI that you're watching on your ITouch?

Strangers are strange, but most of the time, if you just talk to one, you realize they're just like you. And to be honest, most people are dying to be talked too, it's true! Just don't take their candy...


For, to be a stranger is naturally a very positive relation; it is a specific form of interaction.
Georg Simmel 

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Melody Beattie 

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.
Franklin P. Jones 

Friday, 5 November 2010

Day 5: Your Dreams...

Dearest dreams,
you are not dead.
Sorry that I forget about you sometimes.
Don't listen to those who call you unrealistic or always in the way.
I see no harm in dreaming, though many have felt the need to say it's a bad thing. Working an office job your whole life will not grant you the keys to 'heaven', so enjoy life and love it.

I am a dreamer, what can I say?

Some dreams I have/had/will have:

I will... a mother a wife
...get a job
...get a job that i love respected in France in Europe for the United Nations
...join the secret service a flight attendant
...learn many languages happy synchronized swimming until I'm 90
...have a house where people happily drop by unexpectedly
...go to South Africa, South East Asia, Australia and Brazil...
...go on lots of day trips with my husband
...always love cooking
...wear more heels
...own a nude wrap dress
...know certain people forever
...always be ambitious
...get my drivers license
...keep dreaming forever.................................<3

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Day 4: Dear Sibling...

To my favourite (though only) sibling,

Tonight on the ride home you told me that if I was ever stuck anywhere at 3am, I could call you and you'd come pick me up. The other night when Dennis asked me if you were like a father figure/awesome uncle to me, the answer is yes. I still remember when I was little and you brought me to that baseball game and I dropped my chicken nuggets, and so you bought me more. I won't forget the 5am pizza cravings or the trips to 7-Eleven for munchies or all the rides, comforting phone calls and hours spent playing computer games in your room, even when I was sick. Everyone Ooos and Aaahhs when they hear about my handsome older brother. And they better watch out, because if they mess with me, they'll have to deal with my brother...
He was a bouncer you know...

I'm sorry for drying up all your markers when I was little, and reading all your Dylan Dogs in your bathroom, or 'somehow' crashing your computer on numerous occasions...
I love that you are colour blind, I love that you are dedicated to going to the gym, I love that you are a cancer survivor, I love that you went back to school and didn't give up, I love that you're a big nerd.
Thanks for taking care of me when I was sick, letting me play with all your hot wheels, bringing me oranges in the hospital, letting me hang out with your older friends and letting me sleep in your bed when I was sad.

Despite any difference of opinion we may have or of taste in Science Fiction Television Series...
I love you.

Luckiest Sister in the World

Ps: I'm still bitter about the bridesmaid thing...jk

Wednesday, 3 November 2010


I'm really happy today because Autumn is beautiful, but more importantly, I went to see my guidance Councillor and he was incredibly helpful and supportive.
Basically I have to declare a different Major and then a Minor in the next two years before I can apply to my proper Major, so that I can have priority on the necessary courses for that Major...sneaky? I'd say brilliant. 
Also, some of the course requirements for my OTHER Major are also in this one or are recommended, awesome. 
He said he gave me this advice because my first year grades showed great potential. 
How happy do I feel right now??

I'm feeling confident about this. Hopefully this means I'll be done Uni within the four years, though I'm now considering Summer Study Abroad instead of a full year... x

Day 3: Dear Parents...

Hello, this is your daughter.

You know...the "miracle" child? the younger one who was spoiled for awhile? then suddenly reprimanded for it? the one who cured your lupus but caused your mental breakdown? the coddled one? who then was abruptedly asked to grow up far too young? she's a little confused as to where she stands.

Dear Parents, please grow up?

Dear Dad, can we talk? I don't want to learn Swahili or become a weather girl. I would, however, like to know your story. You made life hard, you know. Yes, I did get your postcards from St. Kitts. No, I don't want to meet your art gallery friends.

Dear Mom, you're my mom. I'm your daughter. And yes, I will bring you breakfast in bed every Sunday for as long as I can. And no, those dishes aren't washed because they are 'soaking'. And yes, I will tape your soap opera tonight. And no, I'm not deaf. I love you.

not the messenger pigeon

Tuesday, 2 November 2010


Things I would like to achieve this month:
  • Get through the three history essays.
  • Enjoy Autumn.
  • Start Vloging.
  • Finish cleaning/organizing apartment.
  • Catch up on reading.
  • Realize that life is what you make of it and it goes up and down.
  • Apologize to someone very important to me.
  • Spend more time with my grandmother.
  • Spend less time on the internet.
  • Generally appreciate life more.

Day 2: Dear Crush...

Dear Crush, 
I am confused.

Sometimes I feel like I know what I'm doing and sometimes I feel like I'm way off track.
Sometimes I feel like a temptress and sometimes I feel like I'm twelve.

I've been hurt before but I still want to trust you, and fall head over heels for the hell of it, whoever you are or will be.

I want to laugh and have fun and eat dim sum.
I want to stay up late and sit by the pond.
I want to invite you for dinner and read your texts.
I want to feel loved again.

But before I can think of you, I must think of me. 

First...I must have a crush on me...I must be happy and fully love myself, before I can share my laughter with you, don't you agree?


Where in the World...

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