Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Two Blues Two Greens and a Beer

Dear future child,
I suppose someday you'll be reading this. If the internet still exists by then, not replaced by something greater and much more dangerous.

I hope I make a good mother. I hope I brush your hair each night, and tuck you in tight. You'll someday get a puppy for Christmas if you haven't already, with a big red bow. Sorry to spoil the surprise.

Today, I've got the Blues. I know I'll get out of it.
But for now. They're here.

Is Art just a symptom of an Artist's disease? I am sick.

I am about to witness my second decade, my dear child. I'm planning to spend the Countdown on the beach, by the lake, with a bottle of cranberry Champanade under a blanket, with my Romeo. Bliss. How about you?


Friday, 25 December 2009


Between Christmas and I, It's Complicated. Not a big fan, not gonna lie. But...I eventually give in when I think of all the yummy foods I'll be seeing that only come around this time of year.

My room is coming along but I really have too many things. How is it possible since this room is bigger than my last ones? Sadly they all have some meaning related to them...Berlin, Elementary school, jar of rocks from Sicily, Harry Potter craze, Spice Girls craze...so slowly but surely, some will have to be eliminated. It might be awhile before my room is exactly as I want it to be. Not a fan of the wall colour either, but that will certainly need to wait.

I've been watching LOST, I want to catch up before the final season. Gosh I love that show so much!! This photograph was taken by Paul at his work in the lab. He's gotten his images in the calendar too! I imagine this one looks a lot like the universe. That reminds me of the ending of MIB.

I've been working hard these past days with barely any breaks inbetween. I seriously need some relaxos! but I really want to get it all done ASAP. School begins the fourth, which is ridiculously lame, and I need to buy my German textbook and my French Culture textbook. I hope I enjoy those classes. My worst case scenario was that I dropped one and take another Science Seminar instead. Thus completing my Science credit. I loved 'Biotechnology and Society', thanks to Paul for making me go for it, rather than 'Marine Animals and their Environments'.

Happy Holidays!

Monday, 21 December 2009


Iowa State secret library.

Boxes everywhere. And my bed still isn't assembled. Rawr. Work work work. I just feel like writing in short. sentences. I also feel like dancing. Maybe I should set up my Stereo first thing. Grey skies, but there is no snow. The news talks of "more than one White house in Washington". Do you get the pun? Europe is struggling as well. Maybe they should air lift some snow over here, so I can go sledding on Tuesday. That would be nice. I've started to have insanely detailed dreams again, I guess when you're busy, your brain forgets to relax into dreamland also. Had dinner with a co-world dominating friend, Tiffanny. She's planning on three (or was it four?) degrees before she's thirty. We both agreed we'd want to probably venture out of Canada in our lives. Nothing against you, you Big White Beauty. But our dreams are bigger than the Worlds 2nd largest country. No offense. What do I want for Christmas? I want my room to be set up. I want to buy myself an Ipod (first time). I miss music in my life, how did I ever fare without you? I want plane tickets. I want money, clothes and love. Who doesn't? On to the shower, and then to deal with more boxes...

Here I come, when I better go.

Friday, 18 December 2009

Vanilla Twilight

you know when you find a 'perfect' song that seems to have all the secret words and messages that you've been looking for? I think I've found one...

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

Thursday, 17 December 2009


Moved in! Wellll, almost. There's a storage container that needs to be unloaded tomorrow, so that's one more day of extra human strength until I can concentrate on everything else. Lots and lots of unpacking to do still and my crazy ikea bed won't assemble itself, so I need to bring a piece of it all the way to effing ikea to get it unstuck or else replaced, how lame is that? Subway is a five minute walk, and I have yet to find my proper winter coat (erg) so I've been wearing some interesting layers so far. I just lugged home an 18kg box of cat litter looking like a crazy cat lady. My kitty will now have to be an indoor cat sadly, but so far she seems to be coping. She's almost 12 years old in any case, though she still looks and acts like a kitten.

Going to attempt to set up the TV et Al. The rest of the house is starting to work out and I have my own bathroom and walk-in closet which I'm pretty excited about, but setting myself all up is taking quite some time and I'd really like to be done before xmas, especially before I see Paul. :) I've got some pretty neat ideas, but I'll worry about anything major later, as well as when it starts getting warmer. I was planning on hanging Klimt's kiss above my bed, then laying down this orange carpet I've had since my childhood, that has a klimty circle type pattern that could go well. We'll see what happens. But right now what I would like is a proper desk. I need to make sure I'm all set for Uni before it starts again on [sadly] the fourth, since the first is on a friday this year.

I am a constellation of bruises and cuts, I need me some pampering! I'll be soaking in the tub each night until they decide to install water meters in...splish splash! xx

Monday, 14 December 2009

On the Move

Moving day is tomorrow, as usual paranoid about being ready and what not. blah blah blah. just want it to be over with but am pretty excited about setting myself up again. I just want to get as much done as I can before the Winter semester starts up again. I miss Weeds, will you come back to meee? Read and watched the Secret Life of Bees, so beautiful. Now I'm on Shopgirl, crazy novella, is Steve Martin like a secret pervert or something? lol love it though. Looking forward to that movie that Dakota and Kirsten are in, The Runaways.
Did I tell you I am a Beer Pong Champion? Add THAT to the resume bitches :] I feel like 2010 will be my friend.
Went to a Thomas Cook Travel company's Christmas dinner with my friend Teague and it was so much fun and I got an insiders look inside the travel agents perspective too, as well as what an Open Bar does to people...lol. I think I might apply to be a flight attendant right after University, just as a step in some direction while I...how do you say...''am putting on my shoes''.
Got a really rude comments by my ex who I've been trying to be friends with, but I guess I just shouldn't waste my energy when all I get in return is negativity. I've clearly been asked to remove myself from the friend circle and have decided to stop trying to befriend people who can't admit they just don't like me. Talking about this sounds so ridiculous which is why I try and avoid the discussion. But I feel that with this move and with this ''revelation'' of sorts, I am growing.
We'll see what happens next...Cheers! xx

Sunday, 13 December 2009


Today is St. Lucia.
Shortest day of the year.
As a child, my mum and I would always go
to the harbour front and
take advantage of
the Swedish festivities.
Glue and glitter
and decoupage.
Crowns made of
pipe cleaners and felt.
I don't know how
people could assume
I was Swedish, but
as long as I had
my gingerbread cookies
I was happy.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009


Finding old diaries is interesting sometimes. The one I'm using now, I'm using superficially and writing in double spaced because I kind of want to get rid of it, shame tho, but it reminds me of my ex boyfriend too much, I can't be writing about the future with the reminders of the past and broken hearts. I'm going to start my new one, a magenta Pierre Belvedere one, when the move is over. I've entitled it 'The Apartment'. I really love notebooks and the likes. I used to hate using them, but then I realized that they exist to be filled to the brim by our thoughts and ideas!

Made friends with a raccoon today. I'm letting him sleep in an old box of Christmas gift bags that I was going to throw out anyways till the I've got to get to the shed. I feel like it's taking me way too long to pack up, hopefully it'll all work out. ONE WEEK! scary. Right now I'm 'working' full time with this moving business. Watching Vampire Diaries (Six Feet Under fell through, I'll try again later...) and Popular (do you remember that show??) i used to be obsessed with it. My grandmother is in the hospital, I went to visit her today, she got a blood infection within the three days she got back from Italy. So far she's doing much better, she's so stubborn she's already trying to get out of bed and talking about renewing her driving license :) I hope I'm as strong and beautiful as she is when I'm 89.

I REALLY don't want to get ahead of myself because it's really really too early to tell, but for now let's just say three incredibly beautiful words:

South of France.
South of France.
South. of. France.

That'll do for now.

Friday, 4 December 2009

Fingers Toes

Lots happening soon, my semester just ended and lucky me has no exams so I am fully concentrated on packing up for the move, I've only got 2 weeks! Pretty excited, although it's pretty stressful for now, it'll be so good once it's over, I can't wait to decorate. I've been looking at those last page articles in Teen Vogue where they show some celebrity's daughter's room, some inspiration there. And have you seen the Thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl? really well done ending. Just started Six Feet Under, I've been told good things about it, not sure what I think about it yet. Trying to get an au pair job for April onwards after exams, I put down just England and France and underpants.

Literature lecture today was inspiring, we were reading Ariel by Sylvia Plath, talking about how Freud claims art is the symptom of the artist's disease. I don't know if I could live in a world without art. Baudelaire says you can live 3 days without food but not a single day without art. Paul went back to Uni on Tuesday, we share so much music and art together, I guess that's wh
y todays lecture struck a chord. He bought me a copy of Klimt's kiss :) I can't wait to put it up in my room, as well as a old map, so I can map out any travels! I've got South Africa on my mind... I'll see him soon after Christmas, but I feel so brave and hopeful. To the stars!

Ps: My brother proposed to his girlfriend!

Where in the World...

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