stayed up all night/morning to watch this. them.
i'm feeling hopelessly romantic and wish diana was here to see her son.
this gives me hope and ambition.
don't take history for granted and don't stop dreaming big.

xx

In Review

Birthday and Easter are over and done with. I don't feel particularly older nor wiser, though I have completed one exam early this morning and am already in the library trying to memorize the carbon cycle. Hope is on the horizon!

Saturday, I spent it with some of my favourite girlfriends and decided it was time to spend some money on myself. I even got a bra fitting, which taught me I'd apparently been wearing the wrong size for a long time, and I feel that it is necessary to say that: I love my boobs, like...a lot. Sunday, was with family, and future family for Easter, where I ironically received no chocolate, but considering my bikini ambitions, I don't mind so much. I've also taken the first step towards vlogging, which is WAY harder than it seems, I have no idea how people do it and keep it up so well. My to-do-list hasn't changed since my pre-birthday crisis post, though now I'd like to add: workout plan to it. I'm 21 now and I want to look my best and be as healthy as can be (more or less) for the next decade or so...or whatever...who cares! I like looking good, so what?

One thing I have learnt is to aim as high as you can and give it your all. It's like that saying, aim for the moon and if you miss you'll land by the stars or whatever, something like that, except better. Life is full of disappointments, heartbreak and misery, but without it, how would you know when something good is happening? how would you know what love is if your whole life you've been living in moderation?

Make a list of things you want and don't live each day like it is your last, but rather, live each day as a story you want to share with others someday...

Learn to live with less possessions.
Find a job I love.
Be more generous to myself and others.
Spend next summer gaining a credit abroad.
Fall in love all over again.
Graduate!
Learn Spanish.
See Paris, romantically.
Apply to the three places I've been thinking of for a long while.

There are lots of rewards coming up soon...xx see you after exams!

Mandatory pre-Birthday Crisis

I can't believe it's already Easter.

Every year, before my birthday, I get depressed and feel like I have done nothing with my life and never will. Now that I've decided to stop taking any medication whatsoever, its gotten a little worse. I need to see if I'm not clinically depressed.

My birthday is on Easter this year, and sadly, right in the middle of exam season, so I'm planning a girly brunch the day before, and a proper party in May. However, right now, I must study, but I can't, my mind keeps wandering and getting anxious over all the things I need to do, so all I can do is list them out now and then get back to it on the 28th.

1. Study for my G1 test so as to get my driver's license! (About freaking time...)

Living in Toronto, and right on the subway line for that matter, makes the use of a car obsolete most of the time, but excuses aside, it's time I get one. When I have kids, the only think I'll really force them to do is to get their license as soon as their of age. Countless times I regret not having a license, moments where I could have rented a car and driven 12 hours so I could see someone I really care about.

2. Fix up my resume.

If the circus comes back to town, I want on that train! If not, I'll still be job hunting in August because I need more experience, and income is nice too.

3. Redecorate and Downsize.

Clean up the bedroom and reduce amount of possessions.

4. Start preparing for Asia!

Shots, shoes, hotels, documents etc.

5. Vote!

6. Get wisdom teeth removed! :(

7. Plan a birthday party!

8. Prepare for my brothers wedding!

That means finally getting a haircut too...

That's all for now. Wish me luck on exams!
xxox

I've never been one to shop online for anything other than textbooks or contact lenses, but lately I've been looking at clothes and sometimes the deals are pretty ridiculous. Now I'm contemplating this beautiful dress...!

http://www.gojane.com/ seems to be a pretty amazing website. I think I deserve a post-exam shopping treat?

Why do we hurt the ones we love? No really, why? I hate that it happens and you don't even realize until its too late. All I know is that I'm the kind of person who has a hard time letting go of unresolved issues, and often times that creates a whole new problem...Time for a wake up call.

La Vie

Life! Life! Life!

Life is nice.

Life is strange.

Life is cruel.

Life is amazing.

What can you possibly say about life?

Life is what you make of it, and it took me a hell of a long time to figure out what that meant. Life is messy, life is destiny, life is a song on the radio, life is a memory of a beautiful summer...


I have three more exams this month, as well as my birthday to sort out, but as soon as I'm done I've decided to redecorate my room and have a proper spring cleaning of my room and the entire apartment before I go traveling. Here is an amazing website and these random photos of the colours I had in mind for my room:

It took me awhile to decide, but then I realized that there is no shame in pink and was able to settle on a choice. If I keep all the walls, but one, white or beige, I can add whatever colour I like on top of having a pink accent. And if I ever get bored or change my mind, all I have to do is repaint the accent wall. I'm just so antsy to get exams over and done with!! x

Sometimes I lose hope in things...

I had a really rough few days which involved me pretty much living out of a backpack for a couple nights. I had people betray me, I was told bad news, I was used and manipulated, I was struggling with family problems, medical issues and keeping up with school....it just goes on...and staying strong all the time is not easy. It is human to need help, it is human to feel overwhelmed.

Everyone needs to be supported sometimes, even just a little bit. I'm just happy the worst is over and I can better concentrate on my exams.

...and then it makes you realize who your true friends are and everything seems manageable again.

TBC

Done!

Last one!

I've been in the library for hours working an essay about Timothy Garton Ash's The File. It's an amazing book, I just have difficulty writing essays, I don't know what it is, it's the quality I need to work on.

However!!!! However, however, howeverrrrr....this is my LAST ASSIGNMENT after which I will be free! I am super excited about my trip to Asia and have begun constructing a map on Google that follows our journey. Here is is but it is faaaaar from finished!

If anyone has any tips about any of the locations, please feel free to share! I will hopefully get more time after this week to work on mini projects I've been thinking of for a long time.

Freedom is so close!
xx

Vote for me!

Hello!
I'm currently enrolled in a John Frieda contest and it would be amazing if I could get more votes!

http://wildfireapp.com/fb/1592/contests/87503/voteable_entries/18497765?ogn=facebook

Thank you! x

Asia, here I come!

I am about to go purchase my ticket to Singapore! 

So exciting, I can't believe this is coming together! xx

City Dreams

There is only a week or so left but I can't help myself from constantly day dreaming about road trips. The only problem is, that I don't have a car, or a proper license for that matter.

So I've been looking at bus and train schedules and my mind has been wandering.

So far I have two options that are more or less under 100$. They are...

Chicago:

I've only been the airport a hundred times, I'd like to actually see the city. There's a lot of personal history here as well. Plus I'll be 21 soon so hey!

and Boston:

Why not?

Despite Toronto's location it seems to be hard to get past Pittsburgh without spending a fortune, despite it ironically only costing less than 3 dollars to get there... Honestly though, I'm up for anything because in my books, the more the merrier. I'd really like to see one American city before I'm gone for the summer.

Going to an art gallery opening tonight and meeting a friend for late night brownie baking.
Have a wonderful weekend x